What I Am

What I am is Life itself. I am not this appearance of a separate individual. I am not this image of a body. I am not this label or thought. But in fact all of this is happening in what I am. I am not in this body. The body is simply an image appearing within what I am. I am absolute nothingness. Paradoxically, I am absolute everything. Everything is simply nothing appearing as everything. This is what I am. Language is limited and can never truly express this. However, all that appears: every word, every image, thought, emotion, physical sensation, is happening in Life itself. This is not special, this is not owned by any particular special enlightened people. This is most ordinary.


In this play of Life there is the play of searching for fulfilment or enlightenment. There seems to be a path towards reaching this goal. There seem to be things that ‘I’ can ‘do’ in order to get closer to enlightenment. These things seem to provide a certain relief for a while but then the pain of separation seems to return. This game of seeking is played out. It is eventually seen that any relief is simply temporary. Replacing one state with another is found to be totally unsatisfactory. Any idea of hope is seen through. The play of Life is seen as it is.

What I am is beyond all states. What I am is before, during and after any state. What I am is timeless. What I am is hopelessness. What I am is enlightenment. What I am is too simple for this long word ‘enlightenment’. What I am simply is. In not-knowing, I know.

This can not be understood. This can not be worked out. This can not be ‘got’. This can not be thought of. This can not be found or lost. This can not be experienced. But somehow this is already known beyond all experience. This is the nature of what I am. This, right now, is the enlightenment which is sought, and this is the enlightenment which can never be found.

         ~ essay by Unmani Liza Hyde (author of I Am Life Itself)
                   http://www.not-knowing.com/